Daily Faith with Philip Cameron: Special Guest Jeff Schadt
About this episode
Family counselor and Revive Family executive director Jeff Schadt joins Philip Cameron to unpack the real — and often invisible — forces driving children's defiance, rebellion, and spiritual drift. After interviewing more than 3,000 kids firsthand, Schadt discovered that most parents are misreading the signals their children send. "We've been taught to focus on the green part of the weed, the bad behavior," he explains, "but when you cut off the top of a weed, the root system doubles in size." His book What's Really Causing My Kids' Bad Behavior identifies five key factors beneath the surface, including unconscious thoughts and emotions — 95% of which children (and adults) are completely unaware of — stored trauma held in the amygdala, and post-COVID fight-or-flight dysregulation that mimics ADD/ADHD. Schadt and Philip explore how adolescents actually learn better through independence than control, why teens still deeply want closeness with their parents even when they appear distant, and how unaddressed stored trauma can silently hijack family relationships for decades. Parents, pastors, and counselors will find practical next steps at onerulehome.com, where Schadt's book and a free 70-page Child Concern Index report are currently available at no cost. Schedule a coaching appointment directly through revivefamily.com.
Part of our Restore collection of conversations.
Quotes worth sharing
“What shocked us was even the kids that were on drugs wanted to be close to their parents again, even as teens. But they didn't know how to get there.”
“We've been taught to focus on the green part of the weed, the bad behavior. We've been taught to cut it off. But what happens when you cut off the top of a weed? It grows back. You know what else happens? The root system doubles in size. But what we haven't been trained to do as parents is to look below the behavior and ask, what's really causing it underneath?”
“The quickest way to destroy the church is to destroy the family. And what you're looking at right now is a crusade by hell.”
What's Discussed
Jeff Schadt, executive director of Revive Family in Durango, Colorado, shares findings from interviews with 3,000 children to explain what truly underlies kids' bad behavior. His book What's Really Causing My Kids' Bad Behavior identifies five root factors: unconscious thoughts and emotions (95% of all emotional life), stored trauma in the amygdala, and post-COVID fight-or-flight dysregulation. Schadt argues that punishing surface behavior without addressing these roots is ineffective — and that teens still want closeness with parents even when they appear rebellious. Resources including a free Child Concern Index report and coaching appointments are available at onerulehome.com and revivefamily.com.
- Jeff Schadt's 3,000-Kid Research Journey
- What Struggling Kids Actually Want From Parents
- Adolescent Independence vs. Parental Control
- Root Causes Behind Bad Behavior
- Unconscious Thoughts and the 95% Factor
- Post-COVID Fight-or-Flight in Children
- Stored Trauma and the Amygdala Explained
- Free Resources at One Rule Home
Episode Transcript
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Intro
Philip:Hey, welcome to Daily Faith Today. My name is Philip Cameron, and we have got a tremendous show for you today. In this country we're living in just now, there's a family crisis. Our families are falling apart in the church as well as outside of the church.
Philip:Sadly, I don't see much difference between the two. We have so many of our kids losing faith, and you may be watching today and you have that exact situation in your family, maybe a son or a daughter. There's nothing worse. Nothing will cripple a family more than having a prodigal son or a prodigal daughter. And I know this, so I just want you to know that God knows about your circumstance. He's working, he's working. I love that song: he works in ways I cannot see, he will make a way for me.
Philip:And whatever your circumstance is, let me tell you, he's working in ways you cannot see. And this program may be one of those ways he's working with you. I've got a friend Jeff Schadt with me today. He's from Revive Family in Durango, Colorado. It is a Christian-based ministry that helps with counseling and helps care for families. There are various issues we'll be talking about, various programs they have to connect and reconnect families and restore families and allow healing to take place.
Philip:So if you know someone, if you've got a friend who is struggling right now with a family situation, if you're a pastor with a church, you are gonna learn stuff today that will give you the tools to help the families in your church. I'm going to be talking about a book that he's written. I want you to get a piece of paper and a pen and write this book down and get it and give it as a gift to your pastor. One thing I've learned — I've been traveling and speaking in this country for 55 years, I came here in March 1969 with my father — and one thing I've learned is that information is power. If you can put information in a pastor's hand, it's like giving him a million dollars.
Philip:If you can give a pastor a revelation, it's like opening a whole new vista of communication with heaven. And in the church today, one of the greatest lacks we have is how do we continue this family tradition of Christianity? Because the devil is determined to break up your family. Your family is in the crosshairs of hell. And what's happened is the church has stuck back in the forties and the world is living in a totally different world.
Philip:The device that your kid uses — let me tell you, that device that you give to your kid with such joy is a gateway to pornography and to gambling and to God knows what else. And a couple of clicks — and you say, oh, but we never — no. You send your kid to school and I'll promise you, there's a boy in school that knows exactly what to do and where to go and how to get to where you don't want your kids to go. So I urge you just to watch this program.
Philip:If you have a friend that's going through this — I know you have, I know there's someone in your family, in your church — we have a book today that is going to absolutely bless your circumstance. And I believe you are watching today for a purpose. God is working in ways you cannot see. And so get other folk in your family involved and watch Daily Faith. To help us, if you would, right now you can share the program, just hit share. And also we've got the notification bell, you can hit that and you'll get to know when Daily Faith is on the air.
Philip:And you can also go, if you want to, YouTube — youtube.com/dailyfaith. So simple. And Daily Faith — in September we reached 3 million people in September. So we are growing like crazy and we're just so glad to have met you today. If this is your first time, or if you're one of the Daily Faith family, we're just delighted you're here with us today. We have got a great show with some great news coming from Moldova mission work. And you'll be meeting a friend of mine, Jeff Schadt, that I think is gonna speak hope into your circumstance. Listen, I'm delighted you're here. Welcome to Daily Faith.
Philip:Hey, welcome to Daily Faith Today. My name is Philip Cameron and I am delighted you're with us. I've got a great guest today. If your family's going through a crisis, if hell has focused on your home — and let me tell you, that's the devil's work. There's two things the devil fears in the world today. One is the church. All the stuff he's doing — we get whatever, Washington DC — I've got news for you, the devil is more focused on the church in your street than he is in Washington DC, because he's got most of Washington DC all tied up already. He hates the church.
Philip:He hates the fact that we still worship Christ. He hates the fact that my heart does not belong to him. I belong to Jesus and he will do anything in his power to destroy the church. And the quickest way to destroy the church is to destroy the family. And what you're looking at right now is a crusade by hell. All of the filth and the garbage, all this stuff of these stars and singers that's coming out — you are going to have your hair fall out this year once all that stuff starts coming public.
Philip:And those are the people that hell is using. They shape your kids' minds, shape your families. When you are busy working, the devil's working in your family. You give your kid a phone and you're thinking, wow, look what I've done. I've managed to get them an iPhone. It's cost me a thousand bucks and you've just paid a thousand dollars to invite hell into your family, because from that device they can go anywhere in the world, see anything you could imagine and you can't imagine.
Philip:I talk to my grandkids continually, sounding their hearts, where they're living. And a couple of teenagers — I'm telling you now, guys, they are out there. They know more than you do. Trust me. Common discussions in school tell them more stuff than you ever dreamed of. And that is all part of an attack on the home.
Philip:And my friend today, Jeff Schadt, is gonna speak to you. He's written a book — what is really causing my kids' bad behavior — and his other resources. This guy has multiple resources for you to help your family in restoration and healing. And I know that you know someone that needs to hear this program. And I suggest you also get in contact with your pastor and tell him, because pastors — I have a friend, my pastor is one of my best friends in the world, and I know what he goes through.
Philip:He'll call me and say, Philip, I need you to pray for me. I'm facing — he won't tell me who it is, but he'll tell me the circumstance. And I'll say to him, my, that's why I'm glad I'm not a pastor, because stuff that was never heard of 10, 15, 20 years ago is now common day stuff. You need to watch this program. So stay tuned.
Philip:As you know, we have a mission work in Moldova and Ukraine. We've been there for 35 years now, I can hardly believe it. I adopted a boy, a baby boy from an orphanage in Timișoara, Romania. No idea, had no interest in orphanages. My dad made me go there and I walked into this room of 30 screaming kids — there's 200 in the whole orphanage, but in this one particular room. And all the cribs were end to end and all the babies were rocking on their cribs because they'd never been cuddled, never held by a mom, and by rocking they were self-comforting. And all the metal cribs were clanging end to end like this as they were all rocking.
Philip:It was like bedlam. And right in the middle of all this, I saw this wee face. And God spoke to me. He says, that's your son. And I picked this little one up, half naked, covered in his own waste. And I said, I don't know how, but I'm not gonna quit until I adopt you. And it took me a year to adopt him. And in that time, they had no toilets. They went in the bathroom on coffee cans that had been opened with those old-fashioned can openers, and all the bottoms were cut with a rim of the coffee can. And I put in new toilets.
Philip:The beds — I took a piece of paint off the beds and it was lead paint, and I replaced all the beds. And the roof leaked, and I replaced that. It was a nonstop year before I got to adopt him. And in that year I became addicted to caring for these kids that have nothing to offer us, nothing at all. But the love of God can be shown through us to them.
Philip:And it's evolved since then. We are now working primarily in a country called Moldova, poorest country in Europe, more alcoholism than anywhere else in the world. And the result of that alcoholism is orphans and broken homes. And we have a place, a ridiculous place called Vatra Village. It was built as a village for rich people to have a dacha on the lake. And they poisoned the lake with chlorine because there was algae in it, and it killed the project. And it sat for nine years, unused, not finished, unused. And the Lord challenged us to go and buy this village. And we've been working on it — it's all paid for, it's all fixed up, and it's completely full.
Philip:And every girl you're watching right now — if a trafficker gets her, and these aren't bad kids, these are kids that are naive and they're offered a bogus job and they end up getting into a car and they're taken to God knows where. And they're used 30 to 50 times a year. And each one of those girls could earn $300,000 for their trafficker. It's unbearable. And they come to us and they come as orphans and they become sons and daughters. And then they become missionaries. And each of the homes at Vatra Village adopts a village outside and they care for that village.
Philip:They know every widow in the village, bring wood and coal and supplies all year long, dig the gardens in the spring, plant vegetables for them. It's crazy what God can do with a heart that's been redeemed. And it's Christmas time in Moldova. And they sent me — they make all these videos, they do all the video, they do the editing, and they put the music onto it. So I just show it as I get it from them. And this is them putting up the Christmas trees in each of the homes in Vatra Village. Watch this.
Hi, my name is Nicoletta, and this is my first Christmas here at Vatra Village. My name is Aam. This is my first Christmas at Vatra Village. Hi, my name is Alexandra. Because of you, I got the chance to celebrate Christmas with such a big family. Hello, my name is Roma. Merry Christmas.
Philip:Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, I love it. Can't you feel the joy coming from their hearts? You have no concept how they came to us — abused, forgotten, abandoned. And they come to us and we tell them, if you're born, God has a plan. It's crazy. I'm so honored to be a part of this thing. It never fails to amaze me. I've been doing this for 35 years and every day feels like the very first day, because I know we are changing lives.
Philip:And now we have the married all over the world, and some are doctors, some are lawyers, some are teachers. It's just amazing what God has permitted us to do by your help. Someone like you watches a program just like this and decides to give a dollar a day. Everything we do there is done by someone deciding to give a dollar a day. You can change a life for $1 a day right now. And we're coming into the most dangerous time of year there. Moldova is like having Africa in minus 30 degree weather. That's the best way I can explain it to you quickly.
Philip:And what happens is, in these villages where there's no street lamps and there's no sidewalks and there's no running water, there's no indoor plumbing, they live at the doorstep of disaster every day — cold, bitter cold, no food. And our kids, these orphan kids you are looking at, that's why we're called the Orphan's Hands, they go out into these villages and bring hope. And right now we have a project going on that I know you'd be interested in.
Philip:We found a place that makes up humongous bags of wood — crazy sized bags of wood, commercial and industrial sized bags of wood. There you are. And one of those bags will heat one of those homes for a month. And our kids go out and deliver one of these bags. If you notice, the wood's all pre-chopped so our widow doesn't have to try and chop it, she just goes out and gets some wood and burns it. And so our kids at this moment are going to families and to widows and broken homes, single moms with six kids living in despair. And our kids go and bring them winter coats and all kinds of amazing things, food, the basic staples. And in one visit we can take terror out of a family.
Philip:Those bags of wood are costing us — a lot of times you'll see a ministry ask for an offering of a hundred dollars, but it's only costing them 25 to do it. Those bags are costing us $65 each. And we would love to give away hundreds of them. We could give away a thousand if God gave us the funds to do it. And if you'd like to help us by giving a gift of $65 — our initial goal is a hundred, but I would like to see at least 500 before the winter season has passed.
Philip:If you could help us by giving a gift of $65, you can go right now with our address. Make a check out to the Orphan's Hands, PO Box 25, Clinton, Tennessee 37716. If you'd like to go to our webpage, dailyfaithtv.com, there's a giving page right there and you can say this is for wood for the villages, and we'll know exactly what it's going for. Or you can dial our 800 number, 833, and just dial Daily Faith — spell it out on the keypad of your phone — and a real life person will pick up the phone and receive your gift.
Philip:Listen, you are important to someone right now. Maybe you're sitting and you've got no family this Christmas. I know a family you can be a part of. You can be a part of the Orphan's Hands family, the Daily Faith family. And you can make a tremendous difference. My gracious, can you imagine a mom with four or five kids and no food, no social system, nothing, and our kids knock on the door standing with a bag of wood to say, hey, the fear is passed, here we are. So let the Lord use you today. If you would, I'd appreciate it.
Philip:Jeff Schadt has a unique ministry, and I believe one of the key ministries in this country right now. America is under attack — not in China, not in Russia — inside your house. The enemy has come inside your house and our kids are out of control. I'm astonished — through my grandkids I hear the stories that they bring back to me of some of the kids in the class. And we just need you to be praying for America, because this country, if it falls, it will fall from inside. It won't — China will never beat America, neither will Russia, no one else will. The only people that can beat us is ourselves.
Philip:And Jeff Schadt has a ministry, it's called Revive Family, and he's the executive director of that ministry in Durango, Colorado. With the great things you can get in contact with him from wherever you are in the world, they can help you in your circumstance. Jeff, I'm so glad to have you on Daily Faith Today. Thank you for joining us. Give us a synopsis, a background as to what you're doing and why the Lord brought you to this need in America.
Jeff Schadt's 3,000-Kid Research Journey
Jeff Schadt:You know, I started 21 years ago doing research into why kids were struggling, why they were falling away from the faith. And I was seeing it happen with my oldest daughter. At the time she was nine and she was hard and she was defiant, and she would argue for an hour to not admit she was wrong — she'd blame the sun, the dog, the wind, the moon. And I was doing everything that I read online or heard from Focus on the Family or all these other experts, and things just kept getting worse.
Jeff Schadt:So I actually went out and talked to 3,000 kids and it blew my mind hearing their perspective, what they were thinking about, where they were at. And what shocked us was even the kids that were on drugs wanted to be close to their parents again, even as teens.
Philip:Wow.
Jeff Schadt:But they didn't know how to get there. And so in the research I was forced to wrestle with everything I was doing as a parent, because I was convicted that I looked nothing like Jesus to my own kids.
What Struggling Kids Actually Want From Parents
Philip:Wow. And that was the turning point for seeing everything change with your kids. That's painful. Today so many families are seeing strife and conflict between their kids. The siblings are at war with each other.
Jeff Schadt:Sure.
Philip:The love has broken down in our homes.
Jeff Schadt:And so we do everything from preventative education and programs for parents all the way to intensive healing exercises through a mentoring and healing process that we do with struggling kids, with parents that have repeated issues with anger that they can't seem to break. We do entire reboot retreats with families during the summer to reboot the family culture. So we do everything from the beginning to the end to restore families, especially families with struggling kids. That's our heart.
Philip:When you talked to these 3,000 kids, what themes did you begin to develop from them?
Jeff Schadt:Oh my goodness. One, they weren't prepared to leave home. We've been so fearful as parents that they're not ready to leave home. And so they're not prepared for the loneliness, the stress, the change.
Philip:That's always intrigued me about the American culture compared to the Scottish culture. In Scotland you don't leave your family until you're married. You leave from your domicile home, your family home, to your marriage home. And when we came to America first, we were stunned that the mindset was, well, when they're 18 they've gotta go out there and make their own living. And most kids — frankly, I think today kids are more immature than they used to be. I mean, we're going backwards, we're regressing in that regard. And I often said to my kids, you are staying here until you find someone that you love more than me, and then you can leave. But until then, you're staying right where you are.
Jeff Schadt:Yeah. No, I mean, if you step back in our country's history, we had people like George Washington who at age 16 was an official land surveyor for the US government, going out into the wilderness and making maps for the US government. We had John Quincy Adams who was 13 and representing the US government to Russia, traveling to Russia by himself at 13. We have definitely regressed. We've bought into this mindset that because the brain's not fully developed, they're not adults.
Philip:Yeah.
Jeff Schadt:And sadly, what the research shows on the adolescent brain is that they learn better through independence in adolescence, not through control.
Philip:Wow.
Jeff Schadt:And we're so fearful as parents in that age range that oftentimes it's that that's breaking the relationship and handing the influence we're granted in our kids' lives by God to the world, unintentionally, accidentally. It's not something that our kids actually want. And I think we've even bought the lie that our kids have to distance from us to grow up and be ready to leave home. What we heard in the research is every kid still wanted to be close to their parent like they once were. But they don't know how to get there. And it's because of the way we've been approaching them, the way we've been parenting them.
Philip:Wow. That's fascinating, because I do know that how we treat our kids and the foundation we give them to stand up from will determine what happens for the rest of their lives. I mean, they don't call them the formative years for nothing. Now you've written a book that I think is fascinating — what's really causing my kids' bad behavior. It's a long title, but it's a good title. Explain this book. And I believe there's another book also that you wrote, like a tandem?
Root Causes Behind Bad Behavior
Jeff Schadt:Yeah. What's Really Causing My Kids' Bad Behavior is a book that looks at the issues that are often underlying our kids' bad behavior. We've been taught to focus on the green part of the weed, the bad behavior. We've been taught to cut it off.
Philip:Yeah.
Jeff Schadt:But what happens when you cut off the top of a weed? It grows back. You know what else happens? The root system doubles in size.
Philip:Yeah.
Jeff Schadt:But what we haven't been trained to do as parents is to look below the behavior and ask, what's really causing it underneath?
Philip:Wow.
Jeff Schadt:And that's what this book is all about. It's looking at five key factors. One is unconscious thoughts and emotions. Only 5% of thoughts and emotions are conscious, 95% are unconscious. Really. So when we're seeing our kids repeat the same bad behavior over and over again, no matter what we say and do, what we've found in the research and working with families and helping restore families is that the kid often has no clue why they're doing it themselves. It's residing in their unconscious and they're frustrated and they're trying to change it.
Jeff Schadt:We don't believe that because we're getting the pushback, we're getting the blowback. So when we say to our kids, what were you thinking? That's a genuine question. The reality is, with 95% of thoughts and emotions being unconscious, a lot of adults we help in families are dealing with the same thing. They've got anger issues that they don't like, that make them feel like a failure as a parent. And they keep having those things happen. And it's because it's stuff they stuffed as a kid or at some point in their life, and it's sitting in the unconscious just waiting to be poked into eruption. And so that's one of the issues that parents aren't equipped to deal with — helping their kids dig in and figure out what's really going on underneath that bad behavior.
Unconscious Thoughts and the 95% Factor
Philip:That's amazing.
Jeff Schadt:You know, another major issue that ties to this is fight or flight. Since Covid, a massive percentage of the kids we're working with that are struggling have regulation issues. They are going into fight or flight at a really minor level. So they're reactive, they're defensive. It looks a lot like ADD, ADHD, because they're in self-protect mode, they're on high alert. And so something moves over here and they're like this. They don't have the attention span anymore because they're basically locked in fight or flight from living in fear and all that stuff from Covid for so long.
Post-COVID Fight-or-Flight in Children
Philip:I do believe that Covid has scarred this country way more than we realize. And I hope to God we've learned a lesson — never again to allow our government to dictate to us. I mean, we had our kids sitting in school inside little tents, for goodness sake. I mean, it was insane. And looking back on it now, I just think the whole world went nuts, personally. And the kids are paying the price for it.
Jeff Schadt:Oh, massively. There was this one girl that was 13 that we were in session with. And we have blankets and pillows for them to wrap themselves up in as they try and touch difficult topics, and they're piled over in the corner of the floor. And there was a thump outside of the office that we were in. It wasn't that loud, it didn't bother me at all. She literally dove headfirst like a soldier diving into a foxhole, off her chair into that pile of blankets. That's how high alert she was, how much she was stuck in fight or flight through Covid.
Jeff Schadt:And so that can create defensiveness, that can create reactions, it can create stuff that looks like disrespect or rebelliousness. But it's actually a regulation issue, and if we don't address that, they're never gonna be able to control it.
Philip:So what I'm hearing from you is that we are misinterpreting signals that they are sending, that we're misreading what they're doing. So we see an action as disobedience, for example, and it may be a totally different input from them.
Jeff Schadt:Yeah. It could be a totally different cause. You know, the third element that's very different that we've discovered in working with so many kids is stored trauma. For a little kid, trauma can be fairly minor from an adult perspective. But the reality is trauma is stored in the amygdala. It's at the base of the brain, at the top of the spine — this thing called the amygdala. And it stores trauma apart from memory. So even if you've repressed the memory, or the memory was lost from childhood trauma, as an adult this thing keeps that memory and it has a rough calendar in it. So it'll mark the anniversary of a trauma. And so the reality is, if you have a bad time of year every year, it's probably coming from stored trauma.
Stored Trauma and the Amygdala Explained
Jeff Schadt:And the curse of this thing is it has very minor triggers. So it can be a tone of voice, a facial expression, a smell. A place can have a trigger that will bring forth a tidal wave of emotion from the past and it will erupt in the present. And we'll blame it on the person across from us because they said that minor thing.
Philip:That drama. Yeah. It's your fault, you hurt me.
Jeff Schadt:And it's actually flowing from stored trauma in the amygdala. So again, that's another thing that if kids are dealing with for whatever reason — you know, I was molested when I was 11 by a 14-year-old boy scout, and that had triggers in me that I didn't know were there for 20 plus years, until I was working on my own healing journey. And when we touched that topic, I was like, yeah, it was all my fault. And the counselor said, let me ask some questions. How did you handle locker rooms? And I said, I still have never showered in a locker room in my entire life at that point in time. And then they asked some other questions and said, I hate to say it, but you were actually molested. All the signs in your life, all these things that are going on that you think are completely normal, aren't normal. And they're coming from your stored trauma from being molested.
Jeff Schadt:And so again, we can say to our kids, stop reacting, stop blowing up. But if it's coming from a trigger, they can't stop it even if they wanted to. And so that's gotta get addressed.
Philip:It's gotta. And that falls in the 95% again that you're talking about.
Jeff Schadt:Yes, the 95% of unconscious versus conscious.
Philip:This is fascinating. We've gotta have you back on to share some more, because this is critically important stuff, guys. This is the guts of what's taking place in America today. And you've written this book that I want folk to get — What's Really Causing My Kids' Bad Behavior. You can get it from Amazon. There on the screen: What's Really Causing My Kids' Bad Behavior. You can either get it from Amazon or you get in contact with www.onerulehome.com — onerulehome.com.
Philip:And how do they get in contact with you if there's a family just now in a crisis — and I know there is — you being God's led you to this thing. How do they get in contact?
Free Resources at One Rule Home
Jeff Schadt:Just through the contact us at revivefamily.com. At onerulehome.com you can schedule an appointment with me. You can get right into my calendar and block a spot with me or one of our other coaches. And right now you can get that book for free at our site, as well as get the Child Concern Index that will tell you how concerned you should be about your child. It'll produce a 70-page detailed report based upon what's going on with your kid.
Philip:Wow.
Jeff Schadt:And right now all of that is free at our site at onerulehome.com.
Philip:Thank you so much. Thank you for watching Daily Faith. We'll see you again. Bye-bye.
For over 25 years the Cameron family has been changing the lives of orphans in Romania and Moldova, from providing running water, flushing toilets, and clean wells, to coal for heat, new windows, as well as food and clothing. They champion the physical needs of the orphans in these broken and desolate countries. Many of Moldova's orphans are saved from the horrors of trafficking through homes founded by the Camerons. And in the process, orphans become daughters and sons. They come to know their heavenly Father and are forever changed by the love of Jesus.
God helped the Camerons lift these amazing young men and women out of darkness, now no longer orphans. They want to return and invade that very same darkness with the light of Jesus Christ. The Orphan's Hands equips these daughters and sons to become missionaries. Your monthly gift of $31 will allow us to rescue and take in more girls and boys, saving them from the hell of human trafficking. Your monthly partnership will allow us to care for those in the Orphan's Hands homes in Moldova and Ukraine. If you want to join Philip and Chrissy in taking care of these precious young people, please contact us today by calling 833 Daily Faith. You can also give by going online to www.dailyfaithtv.com or by writing to Post Office Box 25, Clinton, Tennessee 37716. So many lives depend on what we do. Thank you for loving the lost.
Common questions
Why did Jeff Schadt start researching kids and family struggles in the first place?
Jeff started 21 years ago because his own oldest daughter, then nine years old, was becoming hard, defiant, and argumentative. He was following all the standard advice — things he read online or heard from Focus on the Family — and things kept getting worse, so he decided to go directly to the source and talk to kids themselves.
What did Jeff learn from talking to 3,000 kids?
One of the biggest surprises was that even kids who were on drugs still wanted to be close to their parents — they just didn't know how to get there. Jeff also found that kids weren't being prepared for the loneliness and stress of leaving home, and that over-controlling parenting in adolescence was actually pushing kids away and handing parental influence over to the world.
What does Jeff mean when he says 95% of thoughts and emotions are unconscious?
Jeff explains that only 5% of our thoughts and emotions are conscious, meaning kids (and adults) often genuinely don't know why they keep repeating bad behavior — it's driven by unconscious patterns. So when a parent asks 'what were you thinking?', the honest answer is often that the kid truly doesn't know, because the root cause is buried beneath their awareness.
How does stored trauma connect to a kid's bad behavior or emotional outbursts?
Jeff says trauma is stored in the amygdala — separate from conscious memory — and can be triggered by something as minor as a tone of voice, a smell, or a facial expression, unleashing a wave of emotion from the past. He shared from his own experience: he was molested at age 11 and didn't realize for over 20 years that unresolved triggers from that trauma were shaping his behavior in ways he thought were completely normal.
How can families get Jeff's book or connect with his ministry for help?
Jeff's book, What's Really Causing My Kids' Bad Behavior, is available on Amazon or free at onerulehome.com, where families can also access a free Child Concern Index that generates a detailed 70-page report about what's going on with their child. Parents can schedule a direct appointment with Jeff or one of his coaches through that same site, or reach out through revivefamily.com.
Topics
jeff schadtfamily restorationparentingchild behaviorstored traumarevive familyprodigal children